I’ve been thinking a lot about ‘balance’. Tonight I was thinkng about what it would be like if I had no fear. What if someone walked up to me and threatned me and I had absolutely no fear?

That lead me to thinking about sociopaths. Isn’t a sociopath someone who doesn’t have the typical emotions, fears, etc of others? A sociopath doesn’t have fear, remorse, or other emotions that typically stop someone from doing something dumb.

Does Taoism really suggest havng no fear? I’m not so sure it does. The more I think about ‘balance’, ‘harmony’, the more I think that being in such a state isn’t about ridding ourselves of certain emotions so much as it’s about understanding where they come from and holding them together in creative tension.

For example, is it really a good idea not to have fear when faced with a situation that could result in one’s harm? Is it really preferable to not have positive, strong emotions for someone in your life that means a lot to you?

I think that being in ‘balance’ or ‘harmony’ is more about holding those emotions in a gentle way and understanding deeply that the very nature of life is change and that predicating those emotions, desires, and hopes on the notion of immutability is unwise. In fact, how we appreciate things, people and situations is best based upon the contradictory foundation: we enjoy those aspects of life because they are ephemeral. We love those in our lives because of the contingent joy they’ve brought us. We appreciate the time off on the weekend because of the fact that we’ll being going back to work on Monday. We value that favorite watch because of the memories we have of it and because of the signs of wear and change it exhibits.

If we can fully embrace change, mutability, contingency, we’ll learn that being human, fully human, is about being comfortably situated in a time and space that will never occur again, not only for us but for anyone, ever. Growing old gracefully means accepting and embracing the reality that we all grow old and that if we didn’t we’d have no basis to appreciate youth. Loving someone means holding dearly the reality of past experiences and the possibility that tomorrow that person could be gone. Living gently in the present means breaking away from the time we spend not in the present to remind ourselves of how good it feels to rest.